Self Love- I am ENOUGH

Whatever traits and feelings we have right now, are more or less influenced by the lessons we picked up along our journey. From the first time we can remember things, to childhood, adolescents and even a couple months or days ago when we had an episode that we felt somewhat life changing. I am a believer of this popular belief that “everything happens for a reason”. I believe that each and every one I met along the way is a survivor, someone that has gone through tons of struggles but somehow made it to look normal amidst the chaos they had. They are what they are right now, the survivors whom bound to chaos with the purpose of learning new things.

Emma Rutendo Makozho is my name and I carry it with so much pride and dignity. Emma is of “Greek” origin meaning universal or whole. Rutendo (Faith) was given as a form of gratitude to the Lord for His faithfulness. I would describe myself as an ‘alpha’ woman. I know what I want and am unafraid to advocate for myself to achieve it. I am speaker, a writer, an encourager, a leader, highly motivated and self confident. I am powerful, assertive and good looking. I love people and nature. I have a hunger and thirst for scientific knowledge; I was born to be a researcher! That’s my purpose.  The journey to this self introspection hasn’t been an easy one but it is one that I am proud of.  Upon asking my sister on how she would introduce me to the world, she wrote, “Outspoken, free spirited and friendly. She is God loving and focused. She looks quite strong and is determined to prove she is, but deep inside is a very emotional and fragile being.” My best friend of ten years says, “She is an open book. She offers no malice or hate, but kindness. With a childlike innocence, you can always trust her words because they are every bit as authentic as her actions. Uniquely herself and unafraid to be so, she is brave. A quality I admire so much. She has big things in store and I know she’ll accomplish every single one. Not one to fuss or fight but all too willing when the moment calls for it but one thing is for sure; she’s not one to lie to. Willing to spend hours cutting and dissecting any lie in search of truth. Mostly it’s because she’s just that damn stubborn. Oh, but her soul is so bright. Easily the loudest person in the room But she’s an expert at hiding her sadness. So you have to look a lot deeper to see it. Above all she is loyal to those who treat her well. I can only hope that she’ll be most loyal to herself.”

Growing up, I was always one to seek for relevance from people and I also tried to please everyone.  I had to endure bullying, being taken advantage of, being a weakling; having some form of identity crisis. I was scared of competition, I easily trusted, I got stressed by anything and everything and I could easily be broken. I can’t remember the number of wrong decisions I have made in life, the number of people I have hurt or the mental violence that I continue to fight on my own. I am not one to play a victim but I am one to learn from my past experiences.  My turning point in life was discovering that life is too short to live it for other people. Though I am still learning, I can bluntly say that I am now in a better place. I learned that life is full of imperfections I had to grow to have an independent mind and choose to live life my own way. I figured “I was enough.” I am ENOUGH!

“I am enough.

In all of my forms: daughter, sister, friend, writer, traveller, lover (both nature and humans).

I am good enough.  I am talented enough. I am confident.  I am kind.

I seek knowledge. I show compassion.

I fail.  I get back up.  I am perfectly imperfect.

I know who I am and what I stand for.  I know what I need to change.

I don’t know it all.  I can never know it all.  I admit when I don’t know.

I know how to forgive.  I forgive myself.

I am enough.”

Self love can be defined as having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. It has both been conceptualized as a basic human necessity and as a moral flaw, akin to vanity and selfishness, synonymous with egotism. However, throughout the centuries self-love has adopted a more positive connotation through pride parades and self respect which I choose. As an unapologetic Christian, the golden rule in Mark 12 vs 31 reads, “Love your neighbour as you love yourself.” You are likely to have heard it many times, expressed in different ways, thinking it is about loving others. Look a little closer though, and you will find that at its very centre is the command to love yourself. The strength of all your other relationships is exactly equal to the strength of that foundation. To love one’s self is not just a self-esteem boosting piece of advice. It is the prerequisite to truly loving others!