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Losing someone you love is hard enough, but also having to watch them struggle through an illness like cancer compounds all those emotions. On the 3rd of June 2016, I lost my dear mbuya. I felt a lot of pain the day I saw her lying helpless and still in a mortuary. Reality struck that I was not going to ever meet her again. The light that normally exuded from her face had been diminished and there was nothing left for her to give.Emma is my name and I carry it with so much pride. It is of German origin meaning “whole, complete, universal and industrious!”Mbuya gave me her name and she was nothing short of all that meaning.The late Emma Vongai Makozho was such a virtuous woman. She was so full of knowledge, she was a definition of wisdom and she was so full of love and kindness. She was a no nonsense woman that worked so hard with her hands, let alone her mind. Over the past four years, I have learned that time doesn’t heal us of our loss but somehow we learn to adjust our lives to live without our loved ones.
Lessons from my dear mbuya:
- “Kusadzidza kufa” The lack of knowledge is death
This was one of mbuya’s favourite sayings (lol), it gets me laughing even up to now. She understood and valued the power of getting an education and sound knowledge. She was against ignorance and illiteracy. She instilled a zeal for education in all her children and grandchildren which we have a mandate to carry on to generations to come. The Bible says in Hosea 4 vs 6 “My people perish because of lack of knowledge.” Mbuya got that concept well!!!
- To carry my name with dignity
I don’t mean to pat myself on the back but I have grown to understand that I was born to be different and am a peculiar gift in this generation! This all lies behind my name “Emma” meaning complete or whole. I will not die unfulfilled and I will not leave a legacy not to be remembered.
- To be generous
I have actually learned this from my mum and aunt who I believe got it from mbuya. At mbuya’s funeral, speaker after speaker spoke about her kindness and how she had helped different people in their lives. Generosity isn’t about money but about giving of ourselves unselfishly. People remember our generosity and likely continue the cycle of giving.
- Speak your mind even if it’s not popular or polite
I grew up during the time when mbuya was in her 70’s and I heard my mbuya speak her mind. It’s not like she intended to be rude or hurtful but she just said what she was thinking. Mbuya’s filter was gone, but she often seasoned her speech with salt. This is a trait we often admire in children, but stifle as time passes. We are taught very early not to say things that will hurt people’s feelings and in the process we end up silencing our voice. WHY CAN’T WE JUST BE HONEST?
- Take nothing for granted
The death of mbuya taught me to cherish all the loved ones I have around me. Life is too short to spend it worried, grumpy and unhappy. It taught me to live for the moment and go for originality. I sometimes wish I had spent more time with her, I wish I had visited her more often and done a lot for her. But I am grateful for all the love and memories. Am grateful for a name that carries meaning and I am beyond grateful for the big family she left behind.Everyone should be able to live a life worth remembering…..
REST IN PEACE MBUYA! TILL WE MEET AGAIN!
Emma's Blog 